Speaking into Indonesia but simultaneously working reports on English helps me so much to understand how to posit the-something-inside-your-neuron into the two different ways of telling the World.  Here I’m not pretending to say that English itself looks so cool than being an ethnic subject of Indonesiano, but the multiple crises needed us to speak in multiple ways as we can. Let’s say, “hmm yes, I’m working at an internationale institution and yet I receive all the fact that my institution is not so-activist in terms of its popularity in Indonesia activism, but I’m going to take all benefits during my active status.” In the middle of crises of rationale, all we can do just simply silent and never stop to produce questions, writing till the highest level that possible you reach, and then reading anything you want.

Almost four years I have been lost from any kind of social-medias, also totally reduce in joining social events, my personal gets better and better the day by day. I can constantly be working on my desk without the pseudo responsibility for hanging over gossips, the myth of friendship and the most dangerous one is the social utopias on activism. People activists are busy to deal with sort of bullshit because they don’t do anything else but only gossiping, they don’t write even just a single piece of paper, yet don’t they read any book till finished. The one that they can’t deal with is consistency, not only run your sentiments but be patient to listen and learn.

This year is the most glorious year for me; is when I start 1). my independent research. At least, it takes years to choose an island to be my long-term socioecological laboratory in which I want to take over the concept of ‘field,’ 2). To train Balinese dance and in one semester to come, we will have training on Gamelan! Feeling so thrilled and excited to have those experiences, since will I meet new people for my circle of life. Thus become the reasons why I decided to move out from my past circle of society. I just realize to whom you belong, in everywhere and everywhen you put your head on their shoulders, it’s exactly the area your political language is working on. I just don’t want to be centralized by its kind of particularism, but decentralize it.

Wanting or not, the circles of activism tends to make me so brutal and naïve that the major crisis happens in any level of society, everyone is feeling the same, not just by you—the sounder of crisis. To find the new political ways of saying the running crisis is must than being centralized into a single notion of speaking the world.