Ok my Idcard was moslem and i’d loved to do sholat too, but Hindu is still stronger belief that i want to keep in my faith.

During my hardest days, i never find another options of intimately supplement than the Hindu brings. I love so much to hear the voices of mantras, it sounds really sink to your deepest heart, grounding around your mind and trancing your soul till its empty. It doesn’t mean you forget the main case of your problems, just it souls you to be empty, degrading your shit expections to do such a perfect things, and let the Universe touch your weak.  The Hindu seems to be the best answer for my negative-minded values of life,  the way i negate the everything of human unlogically treasures.

Living in Indonesia means you must formally have religion that will identify your socio-cultural background (at least, you will be defined as “Indonesian” mostly), and you must represent your formal religion by coming to the mosque, wearing jilbab, and, if your parents are totally strict, you must take the Islam schools for your formal studies. What a lucky i am, i’m born in the area that was full of diversity and my parents are open-minded for any minority religion. They are formally moslem and i’m sure to say that my mom is the religiousperson. She attends to pengajian in her everyday life, just by the reason she want to learn the Holy Knowledge from God. And, being socialist-enough is her second reason.  Mom doesn’t expect anything for what she does, because the expectation itself has its own limits, dont make your self are more limit by the expectations.

I love Islam since i was aware of something beautiful inside in the intersection of Sholat. Moslem have five times to pray; Subuh, Dzuhur, Ashar, Magrib and Isya’. Its beauty is the shift of time circles, the shift that brings your imagine of your past event times and breathing your hopes of the future. In a between moments you will feel nothing than your emptiness. You lost the human definitions of what and who you are, you give away your soul to something that are more powerful than yours. What is that? Who is that? I don’t know, but it’s exist.  And i was addicted to its Power.

In the end, i just dont find any reason to stop doing sholat nor stop believing in Hindu. Both are honestly awesome and beautiful of God creatures. They teach me how to life without any expectations, reflecting your inners in the in-between-times, n finally the Dharma light you.